The Randemness of it all
by spawn-of-stan
Summary: The Randem sisters arrive at Hogwarts. Harry and Hermione are together and Savannah Randem and Draco are together and Maddie Randem and...Fred or Geoge may be together. Oh yeah, and Ron's a gay guy who doesn't know it even though he professed his love f
1. Arriving at Hogwarts And, Ron's Gay

DISCLAIMER: we don't own hp but we own the plot.

AUTHORS NOTE: the characters can be a little bit OOC. Sorry.

BANG!

Two people in the distance: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Everyone else: WTF!

Savannah Randem: GET OFF! I can't feel my leg!

Maddie Randem: I can't feel my butt!

Harry Potter: WTF? What are you two doing?

Savannah: Well…I was soooo happy to be here at the train station, that….

Maddie: …She jumped me! 

Draco Malfoy: Heyo!

Savannah: DRACIE-POO! Huggles

Maddie: Oh no. Here we go again.

Draco: GET OFF ME!

Savannah: NO! Huggles tighter

Ron Weasley: HI HARRY! hugs

Harry: Eeeewwww…..get off. NOW!

Ron: runs off singing FOLLOW THE BUTTERFLIES! FOLLOW THE BUTTERFLIES! WHEEEEEEEE!

Savannah: told you he was-

Maddie: SAVANNAH! THERE ARE CHILDREN READING THIS!

Savannah: oopies.

Hermione Granger: I would have thought you'd be on the train. Its leaving,

Everyone still on the platform: OH CRAP!

ONCE ON THE TRAIN…

The Trio plus Draco, Savannah, and Maddie, settled into their compartment with the same old butt prints.

Maddie: Butt prints. Wow.

Savannah: Hey Maddie, I think it's time for a…

Both: FLASHBACK!

FLASH BACK

AT the sorting ceremony in their first year, a group of scared looking first years entered the Great Hall.

Savannah (younger): OOOH! I'm soooo excited!

Maddie (younger too):OOOOOOH! Me too! OOH! Look! Redheaded twins!

Savannah: Look at that hot blond boy! And he's talking to that uggy black haired boy.

Draco: You'll soon find some Wizarding families are….what the?

Savannah: hugging Draco's head You're cute!

Draco: Um…thank you?

McGonagal: Malfoy, Draco!

Draco: Bye.

Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN!

Savannah: I wanna be in Slytherin.

Ron: No way, girlfriend.

Savannah: Oh no you didn't!

Ron: Oh, yes I did. Snap snap snap

Savannah: Me think he's-

Maddie: Savannah! We're children!

Savannah: oopies.

McGonagal: Potter, Harry!

Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

McGonagal: Randem, Maddie!

Maddie: OOOH! That's me!

Sorting Hat: looks at Mcgonagal _I'll give her to McGonagal! It'll be funny! _GRYFFINDOR!

Maddie: OOH! Red-headed twins, here I come!

McGonagal: _I hate that hat. _ Randem, Savannah!

Savannah: crosses fingers _I hope I get into Slytherin!_

Sorting Hat: looks at Snape _I'll give her to Snape, it'll be funny! _ SLYTHERIN!

Savannah: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!

Snape and Draco: Grrrrrrr…..

Savannah: sits by Draco Hiya!

Draco: Hello. _Up-close, when she's not hugging my head, she's quite pretty. SHUT UP BRAIN!_

Maddie: Hi, red-headed twins!

Weasley twins: Hi. _She's pretty, but she seems a bit ditzy._ We're Fred and George.

Ron: Hi Fred. George.

Twins: Ooh, look. It's Ickle Wonniekins.

Ron: Shut up.

END FLASHBACK

Savannah: Dracie, I want a hug. pouts

Draco: sighs Ok. hugs

Harry: Deep down, he loves her. snickers

Hermione: hits Harry on the back of his head Honestly, Harry, be quiet. Draco, loves her openly, not just deep down drones on and on about love

Harry: grabs Hermione and kisses her

Hermione: OH! blushes

Maddie/Savannah/Draco: Erlack.

Ron: WTF, MATE! HERMIONE'S MINE! goes red

Hermione: Ron, I hate to break it to you, but you're GAY.

Everyone but Ron: laughs manically

Ron: WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!

Everyone: shuts up

Harry: You didn't KNOW?

Ron: Erm, no?

Harry: THEN WTF DO YOU CALL HUGGING ME?

Ron: Erm, brotherly love?

Savannah: YOU'RE NOT EVEN BROTHERS!

Draco: Yeah, and remember in 2nd year when you declared your love for him?

Ron: Oh, yeah…..

Okay. That's it for now! OOOOH YAH! This story is written by me and my sis, Maddie…next time I post, I'll leave you with her Fan fiction name. BYES!


	2. Reminder of unremidable things

Heyo! 'Tis us again, but it is…-superhero music- SIRIUS'S DAUGHTER! YAY! Now, unfortunately, we can't do dialogue form. -tear-

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh yeah…"

Maddie Randem looked at her sister, Savannah Randem, and said, "I think it's time for a…"

"FLASHBACK!"

--FLASHBACK--

On Christmas morning, Maddie was awoken by her sister jumping on her stomach with a square box under her shirt.

"I'M A SQUARE!" she squeed. Maddie grabbed a circle box and shoved it up her shirt.

"I'M A CIRCLE!" she squeed.

"SQUARES LOVE CIRCLES… I mean…TRIANGLES…I mean…I LOVE YOU SISSY!"

"AHHHHH THE HUGS, THEY BURN!"

All that time, the girls in the dormitory were watching this with their mouths hanging open. Hermione had fallen off of her bed laughing. Maddie sat up and said, "Wait. I thought you were in Slytherin!"

"I AM in Slytherin! DUN DUN DUN!" Savannah yelled. "SLEEPOVER!"

"YAY! WHY ARE WE YELLING?" Maddie yelled.

"CUZ IT'S FUN!"

"OH!"

They then looked at each other and squeed, "TIME FOR PRESENTS!"

All the rest of the girls squeed and ripped into their presents. Savannah rose from her pile of wrapping paper with a big, open box. Then she said the only quiet thing she had ever said in her entire life: "Chocolate and chocolate chip cookies…SQUEE!"

"NOOOOOO!" Maddie yelled. "Who gave them to you!"

Savannah looked at the tag and read, "'To Savannah, from…A SECRET ADMIRERERERER! COULD IT BE DRACO! DracoDracoDracoDracoDracoDrac…"

She stopped because the rest of the girls except Maddie and Hermione squeed at the mention of Draco.

"NO! HE'S MINE! RAWR!" she said, doing her best dinosaur impression.

Then Maddie yelled, "I GOTS MONEYS!"

That sent everyone into a frenzy to find the money that they had been sent. When they all found it, everyone looked at each other and yelled, "SHOPPING SPREEEEEE AT HOGSMEEEEEEEEADE!"

HOGSMEEEEEEADE

After shopping for quite a while, all the girls rounded a corner to see a very strange sight: Harry was holding Ron at arm's length, screaming while Ron was making kissy faces at him. As the girls watched, their eyes wide, Ron stopped making kissy faces long enough to say, "I love you Harry! Why won't you KIIISSSS MEEEEE?"

At that, Savannah let go of all reason and fell to the ground laughing while Maddie stood staring, then said, "That's a knee slapper!" and slapped her knee, laughing.

At this, Harry looked at them and screamed, "HEEEEEELP MEEEEEE!"

The girls just laughed and walked away, with Maddie dragging Savannah, who was still laughing, by her shirt. When she stopped laughing, she stood up, brushed the snow off of her, and acted as though she hadn't been dragged through half off the village. Then she walked into the nearest shop with everyone following her. She and Maddie walked up to the counter.

"Hello. May I ask you your names?" said the cheerful, preppy cashier, unaware of what he had just unleashed.

"There are some who call us," Savannah paused, and moved her eyes about the room. "Tim?"

The cashier looked at them, and they left.

--END FLASHBACK--

"Oh my God!" Draco said. "What was THAT like to endure?"

"Something like this," said Savannah, and she and Maddie immediately reenacted the scene, with Maddie as Harry and Savannah as Ron. Draco screamed and clutched his eyes.

"I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT AGAIN!" Harry yelled.

"Oh yeah," Ron said, and started chasing Harry around the compartment.

A/N: TADA! This chapter had ended. We have no clue if this story shall ever have a plot, but it's FUNNER THAN CRAP TO WRITE!


	3. Dancing queen! And other pplz!

"DISCO!" screamed Savannah. Suddenly, mad disco music came out of nowhere and everyone broke out in rabid disco dancing.

"Ron, no dirty dancing!" yelled Harry.

"Aw, poop."

"Try Draco." said Maddie.

"Ok" Ron skipped off towards Draco…

"I FLIPPING HATE YOOOOOOUUUU!" Draco screamed at Maddie.

"DRACO! I'LL SAVE YOU!" Savannah launched herself at Ron, shoving him through the window. "Oopies."

"Oh my. Ron's still there! He's on the windowsill," said Hermione, peering out of the window.

"Anyone willing to grab him?" asked Harry. Everyone turned to stare at him. "Didn't think so."

"MAD DISCO SOME MORE!" Maddie shrieked.

"WOOT WOOT!" said everyone in the compartment, jumping up and down repeatedly to The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage by Panic! At The Disco.

"Savannah, are you ok?" asked Draco, leaning over her.

"Yep. I head banged too hard."

"Oh. Ok then." He helped her to her feet and they continued to disco.

McGonagall, who for some mysterious reason was on the train, burst in and said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"We're having a mad disco party." Maddie replied, without ceasing to disco.  
"AND WHY WASN'T I INVITED?"

"You want to disco? THEN DISCO, BABY, DISCO!" screamed Harry.

"You know what this reminds me of?" said Savannah.

"THE FIRST AND FINAL ANNUAL HOGWARTS HALLOWEEN DANCE IN THIRD YEAR!" everyone screamed.

"Flashback!'" sang Maddie and Savannah.

-----------------------------------------FlashBACK---------------------------------------------------

"OMG, I'M SOOOO NERVOUS!" Maddie screamed. She was going with…one of the Weasley twins, nobody knew which one.

"But you look GORGEOUS, dahling!" Savannah cried. Savannah was going with Draco, of course.

Maddie, serious for once, finished putting on her red silk dress without messing up her bun and lip-gloss. She slipped on her white angel wings and black strappy sandals and sat on her bed to wait for Savannah, who had been helping her get dressed. Savannah was wearing a white peasant shirt with red lace crisscrossing across it. She was also wearing a black skirt that reached her knees and boots that ALMOST reached her knees. Her hair was in a loose ponytail with big red bows and a strand of hair hanging down on each side. She had on black lipstick and glittery black batwings.

"I'M BAT WOMAN!" Savannah yelled, striking a pose.

"I thought you were gonna be a vampire!" Maddie said, confused. She scratched her head to show it.

"I know," Savannah said, taking off the wings and flashing her dental fangs. Maddie shrugged and they went downstairs where George (apparently, this was the twin that was taking Maddie) was waiting for Maddie. He was a devil in a tuxedo. He grinned at Maddie, then they walked out, with Savannah running after them screaming, "WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEE!"

When they got to the Entrance Hall where Draco was waiting for Savannah, dressed as the vampire Lestat (if you're clueless, read Anne Rice's 'The Vampire Lestat).

"You look lovely," Draco said gallantly, offering Savannah his arm. They walked into the Hall, followed by George and Maddie. About halfway into the dance, some slow song came on, and all the couples got up to dance. George and Maddie were dancing sort of awkwardly, as George had a pitchfork attached to his belt. As Maddie looked up at him and he looked at her, they slowly began to lean towards each other. Just as their lips were about to meet, Fred screamed, "GO PEEVES, GO!"

Cackling, Peeves swooped above all of the couples and undid the net that, up until now, had been completely invisible against the dark ceiling. At once, thousands of water balloons filled with cream cheese came down on the students, covering them with the goopy stuff. Maddie slowly wiped the cheese away from her face and hair, turned to George, grabbed his pitchfork, and chased after Fred, screaming, "RAWR! YOU GET BACK HERE YOU BLOODY COWARD! I'LL GNAW YOUR LEGS OFF, FREDRICK WEASLEY! GRRR!"

"WAHHH! THE NIGHT HAS BEEN RUINED!" screamed some random person, and with that, complete and utter chaos erupted. Girls ran around like headless chickens, screaming. Guys stampede over one another, falling and slipping. Ron was running around with the girls, screaming and crying about the cream cheese that covered his pink frilly dress. In the midst of all of this, Savannah and Draco were oblivious, still dancing to some slow song.

"THIS IS NEVER, EVER HAPPENING AGAIN!" McGonagall shrieked as cream cheese dripped off of her nose.

End Flashback

"That was good fun," Savannah sighed, plopping back down on her seat.

"That was MADDIE screaming that she wanted to gnaw Fred's legs off?" Harry said, confused. "I thought it was McGonagall."

"No. I NEVER use abuse as a punishment!" McGonagall said, drawing herself up and sniffing. She then stood, bid them good day, and walked off.

"I still wanna gnaw Fred's legs off 'cause of that, " Maddie said, her eye twitching. At that moment, Ron jumped back into the compartment and chucked the music player out of the window. At that, Maddie jumped up and began chasing Ron around the compartment, shrieking, "RAWR! YOU GET BACK HERE YOU BLOODY COWARD! I'LL GNAW YOUR LEGS OFF, RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY! GRRR!"


End file.
